
You might have clearance for flirting, for surfing hookup apps, for doing sex work, for exchanging nude pictures with friends. You might want to live with multiple partners, or have babies with certain partners but not others. You might be fine with you or your partner having sex but not falling in love, or falling in love but not having sex. You might be comfortable playing together at group parties. You and your partner might be cool having sex with other people as long as you’re both involved in the encounter. But you can also come up with your own design. I highly recommend Opening Up by Tristan Taormino for a primer on how different structures have worked for various people (and what to do when they don’t work for you). There are hundreds of different relationship models beyond the default mode of monogamy.


Polyamory is all or nothing, right? Poly people have sex and fall in love with whomever, whenever. Let’s debunk some of the most common myths about polyamory so that the next time you broach the subject with your friends, you can breeze past the basics and get to the juicy details. If you have friends who are non-monogamous, you might be curious: How does it work for them, and how could it work for you? Respectful questions are all well and good, but take it from someone who has been poly for many years: There are some things that we are really tired of having to explain. “Monogamish.” “Ethical slut.” “Polyamorous.” “In an open marriage.” These days, it can that seem there are as many words for people who engage in non-monogamous relationships as there are LGBTQIA+ signifiers.
